“PRESENT AND ACCOUNTED FOR:” THE GREATER PATH OF MUTUAL COMMITMENT AND AFFECTION
“GREATER PATHS” Session #13 Lifeway Explore the Bible Quarterly
Song of Songs 5:6-16, Ephesians 5:22-33
“Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death its jealousy unyielding as the grave.” Song of Songs 8:6a.
One of my favorite memories from Webelos/Boy Scouts was Camp Parker Mountain. Parker Mountain was one of the oldest Boy Scout camps in the Country and it was nestled in a valley between 2 lakes deep in the White Mountains of New Hampshire. Every morning and evening during camp all the troops would gather at the flag pole in front of the mess hall before Breakfast and Dinner for roll call. The head Scoutmaster would call out a troop name: “Troop 154?” A chosen scout for that day would move “front and center” salute and sing out: “ALL PRESENT AND ACCOUNTED FOR SIR!!” Every boy in the troop wanted the opportunity to “sing out” like they were the Chief British Sergeant in Bridge on the River Kwai but little did they know what a task it was to keep 55 adolescent boys together and in one place twice a day! Boys like to wander, add 698 acres of brilliantly colored hardwood forests, lakes & streams, rowboats, fishing, riflery, mountains and the smoky smell of autumn campfires (a boy’s paradise) and you can see what a task it was for our adult leaders. Which was greater, “to go a-roving” or food?
KEEPING LOVE STRONG IN “FOREVER”: THE THEME OF SONG OF SONGS
Last week in our study of Song of Songs we discussed the role of desire in betrothal, and marriage. This week we are going to discuss keeping desire and love alive in our marriages over a lifetime and the benefits that brings for us and for our families and community into the future after we and or our spouse is gone. How can we maintain being “all present and accounted for” in our marriage relationship and why is this so important? How do we keep from “wandering off” to other voices, other priorities, other desires and continually renew the mutual commitment and affection we need to guard our marriages and, families for a lifetime?
In Song of Songs 3:1-5 we have a beautiful picture of Shulamae’s desire (the Shulamite Woman) looking for Solomon. In that passage they are betrothed but not married yet. In chapter 5 they are married, and whether she was “dreaming” or Solomon really wasn’t there, Shulamae is going after him and pursuing him… She asks the watchmen about him but unlike the guards’ apathy in chapter 3 Shulamae is attacked this time and mistreated (most scholars believe this part of the poem describes a dream because no guard would dare to abuse the Queen of Israel!) So what is this section all about? In chapter 3 Shulamae is “seeking” the love of her life (looking for the start of “forever”) in 5 she is attempting to “keep” the love of her life (keeping the love in that “forever” strong and vibrant) which is really the theme of the rest of the poem.
No one needs to tell us that the divorce rate among Christians is terribly high (around 50%) in fact it is really no different than secular rates. But why is this the case? Some “experts” say it is because people don’t believe in marriage anymore… But I think the real problem is not that people don’t believe in marriage or even the commitment that goes with it (there are more marriages now than in the past) but that the efforts for that marriage fades over time and we find ourselves absent, we let other things and commitments (and they are “good” things but NOT the BEST things) take precedence and before we are aware we don’t know each other anymore. The greatest commitments we make in marriage are to know God and to know each other- to become “one” as we are “one” in the eyes of the church, our community and the family. If we can’t be “one as a couple” (the irony of this scriptural Truth should be noted by us) how can we ever be “one” as a church, as a community or as a nation? Perhaps behind the systemic problems of racism, division, hate, and discord we have seen across our Country lately lies an even more fundamental problem- abandonment and “aloneness.” Before we can reconcile communities we must reconcile families and a BIG part of that reconciliation is couples recommitting not just to the “motions” of marriage but becoming one- togetherness. Would Shulamae have been attacked had Solomon been “with” her? And even if she was how different would the outcome be? We must be fully present in our marriage, and being present is not some “spiritual/mystical” experience it takes hard work and making our marriages the priority every day because you love THAT woman, you love THAT man.
Shula’s friends ask her in verse 5:9, “who is this guy that you would risk life and limb to be with him?” Her answer is profound and distinct. She describes him in terms that are equivalent to the Temple Mount in Jerusalem (the center of Jewish life!) As Shulamae states he’s not some “good ol’ boy” for her he is THAT MAN the love of her life that she is willing to sacrifice all for in a mutually submitted marriage. And for Solomon she is his one and only “beloved” (see SS 8:6-7, Eph 3:14-21; 5:20-33) worthy of his very life. Jesus calls His Church His Bride- one worthy by His own grace and affection of His very life with a love so holy, powerful, personified, and strong that death itself would not keep Him in the grave! Christ not only died for us to save us from our sins, but He rose again that we might LIVE WITH HIM! Folks, forever in heaven- where we go when we die is not near as great as knowing who we are NOW with forever- Jesus! How often we forget that Christ’s desire is forever with us. If Christ’s desire for His Church, FOR US is that strong what should that say about our desire and efforts on behalf of our beloved, on behalf of our spouse? Song of Songs 6:3 is a repetition of 2:16 and it is repeated for a good reason; to show the criticalness of “togetherness” and “oneness” in the marriage relationship. We mutually hold each other’s dignity, we hold the beauty of what God has created in His image and ordained by promise in an exclusive intimate lifelong relationship that predates the fallen nature of this world. In honoring our marriages across all areas and seasons of life private, public, and familial we are given tangible evidences of God’s forever commitment and ours to Him through Jesus Christ our LORD and His Gospel.
Let’s keep our forever strong! Your marriage is important to God and is therefore of utmost importance to you. Be involved, be present, work through problems (problems are not forever but you and your spouse are made for forever) forgive, make memories, cherish each other, sacrifice, be kind to each other and share memories with others and in so doing you will be “keeping GOD’S LOVE in THAT LOVE you have for THAT MAN/THAT WOMAN for forever. You will bless your life, your family’s life, and your community and leave a legacy of faithfulness for generations to come. Now for many of you, your spouse is gone. 50, 60, 70 plus years and they have gone to heaven. You feel alone, but please know you are NOT ABANDONED! Nothing sustains a single spouse for the hard seasons of life like a marriage of faithfulness! You were searching for your forever spouse, you kept that forever love, and guess what your seeking that forever love again- but this time based on a history of life commitment. Your spouse is gone but what you built together remains, dwell in memory of that faithfulness as you go and pass it on to your children, and grandchildren. What will our relationship with our spouse be like in heaven? I don’t know, marriage is ordained on earth, but what I do know is that a good marriage here is “treasure in heaven” there and in that sense marriage is forever!
One final word as we finish Song of Songs…We’ve been talking about “the ideal” marriage and God’s desire for our marriages here, but let’s face it- we’ve all fallen short!None of our marriages are ideal.They weren’t in the past, they aren’t now, and even when our spouse is gone there still might be hurt, regret, and unresolved issues.Praise God for His grace, and His forgiveness.There is no pit so deep whether it be divorce, adultery, or any other issue in your marriage or previous marriage that God’s love, grace and forgiveness cannot overcome.The question isn’t where you’ve been but where you’re headed?By grace alone through faith in Christ Jesus we are headed on the road to heaven…You are following Jesus, who’s holding hands with you as you follow Him?Or whose hand is outstretched waiting to grab yours after they have died?You have a future and a hope live today with that in mind as you walk hand in hand.I have a wonderful friend named “Doug”.Doug knows what it’s like to go through divorce, and through terrible pain and betrayal in the marriage relationship, but his lovely wife now of 16 years has her hand in his as they follow Jesus on their journey home.I am so grateful for Doug!Not for his pain, mistakes, and failures but that God has shown through his life through their life that HE IS GREATER than our failures, and our hurts.Doug’s acceptance of God’s grace not only saved him from his past but by that same grace has made him a future, and he and his wife’s marriage a fountain of blessing for so many today!God is about our redemption and “the washing of HIS Bride” (Eph 5:26) by the gracious power of His Word at work in and through you…Will you let God “wash” your marriage and life relationships today so that you might experience the joy, peace and abundant life God has in store for you and your spouse?You will be glad you did!I am so grateful for all of you!Know I’m praying for you!I can still be reached at dray@wyliebaptist.org.
Love in Christ, Darrin.